Last night I pulled out the half-dead morning-glory vines and squeezed back tears. My feet crunched dead-ness all around, and I fought the yucky pit in my stomach that creeps in every year around this time. This morning I put on shorts, somewhat in defiance, but succumbed to long pants because my body just can’t take anything below seventy degrees. Then I heard somewhere how today it’s fall, which means my favorite time of the year is over. So I did what is only natural for an African-born gal to do. I cried. Mourning the loss of barefoot days, flowers in abundance, fireflies at night, and countless hours spent outside, without having to worry about a coat or something to cover my feet. I may have even found a counter to check off how many days are left until spring. There are 179 more days. But who’s counting?
So, yeah, I cried over the phone to my ever-patient husband, who didn’t laugh at me for the hard morning I was having as a mom and as a summer-loving girl. But I’m not the sulky eleven-year old that I used to be. Yes, I still resist the urge to slam my bedroom door, and sometimes the door swings out of my hands a little faster than I was hoping it would, and makes a louder bang than I truly intended it to make, but I’m growing up. So, when seasons change and I let my dislike of it get to my very soul, there is a problem. I’d like to think there’s a problem with the thermometer or perhaps even the entire earth, but honestly, there’s a problem with me. There’s this tricky little part in all of us that quickly gives in to difficulty. It’s the part in us that needs words like, “In everything give thanks,” and “Endure hardship like a good soldier.” So when everything is wrong with the world, and people who love fall move to my hit-list, there is problem inside my heart. I have failed to give thanks, to see the beauty in change, and to wonder at what this change will bring to my life.
So, I choose joy. Even though I want to curl up in my bed, with chocolate and hot tea until the first day of spring, I simply can not. I will embrace this colder season of life with dignity, grace and strength provided from the God who made me, knows me, and never leaves me. I will keep donning my sneakers (along with many other layers) and run with endurance. I have goals to accomplish. Children to teach. Things to learn. Places to go. Life can’t stop just because the sun is further from my part of the globe. It’s time to pull out my scarves, check my thankfulness-meter, and perhaps buy a few mums to brighten my dead-looking garden.