One thing which bothers me is when one of my children asks me for a snack as I’m cooking dinner. About a week ago, my littlest was doing just that. As I looked at her and firmly told her, “No,” she sat down on the floor, tucked her head in between her knees and cried dramatically: “But I just want a yes!” The outburst stopped me in my tracks. It almost felt like her words were being interpreted from my own heart’s silent prayer to my Heavenly Father. I just want a yes.
This week was a rough one for me. That same particular little girl started having a fever and alarmingly swollen lymph nodes, warranting a doctor’s visit and a round of blood-work.
Thankfully, the blood-work came back normal, but the next day she developed a scary-looking rash on her forehead/scalp area. To make a long story short, 3 doctor visits later and an incredibly high temp of 105 at one point… she was diagnosed with Lyme’s disease. Lyme’s is a tick borne disease and nothing to take lightly.
This was the point where I began to ask others to pray for us. It was going on five days of constant fever, and Thursday night she was unable to walk up the stairs or move her leg from standing to sitting. She hadn’t really complained yet, despite how wretched she felt, so when she started to cry about her leg hurting so badly, I knew she was in a lot of pain. God promises us tremendous power is made available through a good man’s earnest prayer. (James 5:16) I just wanted a yes, but realized God wouldn’t change in any way if He said no.
We went to bed Thursday night, the only difference being we were completely surrounded by the prayers of so many. It was like a thick blanket or wall, surrounding her on all sides throughout the entire night. It was palpable. On Friday morning, I woke up to a sweet, smiling face in my bed. She had climbed up without any pain or problem and said, “Look at my ear!” (which is where the rash had started). It was completely normal, and there was no rash anywhere. Her fever was gone completely. She was smiling. I’m so thankful He said, “Yes!”
The night before, I had told the Lord again that she was His. I am convinced of God’s goodness and faithfulness not because of what He will or will not do in my life, but because of Who He is. We can not sit on the floor and scream: I just want a yes! If we interpret what He does based on what we think is good, or what we think He should do, we misinterpret His character. Our definition of good is limited by time and space and is tainted by our own selfishness. We can’t see the big picture. Just because I told Betty “no” to having a snack, didn’t equate me as a bad mom. In fact, I said no because there was something even better just ahead if she would just trust me and wait for it. God always acts in accordance with His character and not just according to what we think is good. Having Him take one of my children is something so difficult that I can not even begin to imagine or even dwell on it for one second because of the ache it produces in my heart. However, I was swiftly reminded this week that everything God has given to us can be taken in an instant. Yet, no matter what, God does not change in His goodness, His faithfulness, or His nearness.
Jesus said in John 14:27- I leave behind with you- peace; I give you my own peace and my gift is nothing like the peace of this world. You must not be distressed and you must not be daunted. This verse popped up twice on Thursday. Once, on a crumpled piece of paper that survived an entire heavy duty whirl in the washing machine. (When does paper ever survive a wash?) God knew I needed to hear from Him and be reminded that circumstances don’t change His gift of peace.
The scariness of the situation didn’t shift the truth of God’s nearness. I also read this reminder: Never forget the nearness of your Lord...He is right here with me. Don’t worry over anything whatever. Whenever you pray, tell God every detail of your reeds in thankful prayer, and the peace of God…that peace He knew we so desperately needed, so He left it with us when He went back to Heaven… Which surpasses human understanding… if you’ve experienced it, you know it… Will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus. This peace doesn’t come and go, but is like a sentry over our hearts and minds: keeping worry out and keeping peace in, so we can rest.