Today is Wednesday. Which is usually my Monday, as far as feelings, attitudes,and energy, goes. The sound of temper tantrums filled our home, too many times to count, making its small-ish size feel extra tight. I never knew sound could fill up space, but apparently it does. That sent me to pulling things out of clothes bins and into white trash bags. A word of warning from this mama: If you have more sweaters than fit into your 13×13 bin, then I will purge them from you. That goes for your pants, shirts, and shoes too. I have never once experienced anyone “wishing” they had something I gave away because I never saw them wear or enjoy it. I have pack-rat tendencies, so when I sense the urge to hoard coming on in me or my kids, I go a little purge-crazy. We have strict laws here as far as holding onto stuff. One small filing cabinet drawer easily fits all the papers we need for 7 people for the past 12 years. I am working very hard at making sure everything has a place, and if that thing doesn’t fit in its place, it goes bye-bye. I digress.
So, after my crazy clothing rampage, school began in earnest. There were tears and tantrums twice during one hour. The bathroom, being the only door that locks around here, is my favorite place to hide when the tears need to flow and I need the sunshine to wash my face. I also make important phone calls to the principal in there, and tell God how I don’t think I can do this anymore. Wednesday blues.
Then we had to do errands, complete with tears. I wonder at the source, and how it never runs dry. Three hours later, we came home. I was not met with the delicious smell I anticipated when walking in the door. My crock-pot dinner, which I worked so hard to be ready so at least ONE thing would go right… was cold. Some little fingers unplugged it for the toaster’s place, just before we left, and I never was the wiser.
Spills, blood, bites, stabs, falls, bangs and bruises have all been painted a different shade of blue across my day. But there was also an incredible sky painted today, which I love how Jack noticed all on his own. Clouds like stretched cotton, with a few three-dimensional puffs thrown in for good measure. There are also rainbows of trees, some burning, some glowing, some merely pronouncing God’s handiwork. They touch the blue and instantly cold and warm colors collide into a torrent of glory.
For the first time in fifteen hours, I only hear the clock ticking, with faint sounds of children playing. I used to have so much quiet in my life. Now my quiet is usually accompanied by sleep. Sitting on the sun-streaked bathroom floor, I was reminded not to constantly seek escape from my life, but rather embrace it. Straight on, hands open, arms wide, head up: embrace the noise, the questions, the messes, the tears. Take breaks, but don’t run away. There is one inch of tea left in this glorious break. My soul, only painted blue, is starting to burn a little bit of warm. I am starting to feel like those trees on fire, and I’m ready to add some color to Mon-nes-day, and call it Wednesday.