The Quality of Endurance

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Twenty-three minutes later, I’m drenched in sweat.  My second cross-fit workout is in the books.  My new coach, long-time friend, and husband of ten years, is planning out daily workouts for me to do.  I was terrified of the burpees, but did all 45 of them, in addition to the other things on my list.  I was afraid of what people would think when they saw a crazed mother in a bright orange shirt, running around the block yet again.  But I did it anyway, and it feels good… now.

That wasn’t the only tough thing to swallow today.  This morning Matthew went to his ENT doctor to see what’s going on inside his ears and nose.  He’s been having a wicked ear infection, related to the other issues in his sinuses, brought about by Wegener’s disease.  The news wasn’t exactly good.  For a few years he’s had a hole in his septum, which has stayed the same, never getting worse.  Today, however, the doc said it is considerably bigger, and Matthew will be needing reconstructive surgery within the year to repair the damage.  What this looks like, exactly, we don’t know yet.  He said they will probably use a part of his rib!  It is all a lot of new stuff to take in and think about.  We have had our tears.  Not necessarily tears of discouragement, as much as feeling worn out with it all.  It’s like a race that you know isn’t over, but this particular loop is just super tiring.  More medicine.  More surgery.  No improvement.  It’s a vicious cycle.  It’s amazing how such a tiny part of his body can literally be eating away at itself, even though the rest of his body is in excellent physical shape.

When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  These muscles in my body don’t have a chance at growing unless they are put under some serious pain and suffering.  I will never endure more than a walk around the block unless I subject myself to two blocks, and then more.  In the same way, when our faith is tested, our endurance to hold on, grows.  Our Heavenly Father is not just concerned with the end result.  He’s very in tune with the process of getting there.  A process which doesn’t always make sense to us.  But we trust Him and do another set of burpees, so to speak.  Because we want to be like Jesus.  He set the example very high, of what true endurance through trial is like.  He trusted His Father, and so must we.  As we relax into His strong arms, there is little room for anger.

As Matthew prayed today, “We are not children of a poor man.”  No, our God is very rich.  Tonight we choose to believe His promises, and we choose to sing:

…Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship Your holy name

You’re rich in love and You’re slow to anger
Your name is great and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
10,000 reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name

(-Matt Redman, 10,000 Reasons)

 

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4 thoughts on “The Quality of Endurance

  1. I love that song. Praying for you guys right now.

  2. Wow. This must be so hard. Thank you for your patient and joyful endurance – an example to the rest of us!

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